"If You Haven't Failed, You're A Loser"
Psychology Today magazine in Aug 2015 has an interesting article which points out that failure is inevitable, and despite how much we hate it at the time, "is probably necessary for maturity, empathy, and humility." Everyone has some kind of failure whether a relationship, a job, or a creative endeavor. Even a health crisis can feel like a failure, i.e. I should have..........
Many of us harbor seeds of self doubt. When things are going well, we may not even notice these feelings. But when what we want doesn't happen, we often feel like a failure. Rationally we understand no one succeeds at everything, but when it happens to us, those seeds of doubt get watered and up they sprout. The self doubt was there all along, just dormant.
How does one get past feeling stuck in failure? The seeds of self doubt must be eradicated. This will not make you arrogant, you will just know you are "good enough" and not take failure so personally. Your efforts can fail, that does not make you, as a person, a failure. In science failure is recognized as part of the discovery process. The failures are usually many, and an integral part of finding the answers to the goal. Failures correct the course
In therapy an excellent method to cure the seeds of self doubt is EMDR. This technique simply helps you recognize that the belief that "I'm a failure" is simply not true. When you recognize this truth, it's easy to let go of the false doubts. When you pull out the seeds of doubt, they simply won't sprout any more, and thus no more fear of failure.